i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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