remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
this boner is exhausting
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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