Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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