we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
