Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
