Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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