I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
is that a dick in a sweater?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
