Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize