Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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