matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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