if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
