At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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