I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
