Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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