I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
