I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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