Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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