Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
