Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
