i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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