i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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