Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
