can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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