So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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