just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
