I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
