I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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