So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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