You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
