ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
