I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it's like iHOP with fire
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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