He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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