she was so not down for the gang bang
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Randomize
