guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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