What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
