he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Shame is for Republicans.
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