you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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