Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
