Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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