i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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