Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize