i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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