just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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