I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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