I'm gonna have a badass scar
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
