Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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