Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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