When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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