are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
