YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
