It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
