I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
