I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
