roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am midnight drunk by noon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
