I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
