i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
