Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
