Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
