i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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