It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
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it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
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I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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