My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
