I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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