ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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